The 2nd Act: Midlife Crisis or Celebration?
Midlife crises — the words conjure up images of sleek sports cars, unplanned tattoos, and perhaps a sudden interest in nightclubs or rock climbing. But is it really about reinventing or reclaiming youth, or is there something deeper brewing under the clichés? Let’s dive into the whimsical world of the midlife crisis, or as I like to call it, the “Midlife Celebration” — because we’ve hit this milestone, let’s toast to our endurance!
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A Little History
The phrase “midlife crisis” was coined by Canadian psychoanalyst Elliott Jaques in 1965. Jaques introduced the term in his essay “Death and the Midlife Crisis,” where he discussed the period of self-doubt and reflection that many people experience as they reach middle age. The concept of the midlife crisis became widely popularized and entered the public consciousness as a period marked by significant personal change and reevaluation.
Jaques’ work laid the foundation for much of the subsequent research and discussion on the topic, and the term has since become a common part of the modern lexicon.
I am on a mission to change that modern lexicon from crisis to celebration.
The Oxford Languages definition of crisis is: a time of intense difficulty or danger. The period of self doubt and reflection, as Jacques discusses, should be celebrated as the opportunity for growth that it is, and not feared that it’s an intense difficulty or danger. Below are some ideas for embracing your midlife celebration.
Stage 1: The Realization
Imagine this: You wake up one morning, coffee in hand, staring out the window, and suddenly you’re hit with the question, “Is this it?” This is often the opening scene of our midlife narrative – at least in the movies. In reality, it’s less about the clichéd sports car (which, let’s be honest, is a nightmare to get out of in a tight parking spot) and more about the quest to reassess life’s priorities in this significant and empowering phase of life.
Fun Fact: While commonly portrayed in popular culture, actual midlife crises are not as prevalent as one might think. Research suggests that only about 10 to 20 percent of adults experience a midlife crisis. Often marked by a reevaluation of life’s goals and values, midlife crises can involve a period of significant introspection and changes in behavior or priorities. However, many people navigate these years without a severe crisis, finding it a time for growth and positive change instead.【Helpguide】
Stage 2: The Rebellion
IF you are one of the 10 to 20 percent of adults experiencing a midlife crisis, this is where the plot thickens and the sports cars and quirky hobbies might make a brief cameo. But rest assured that the rebellion phase isn’t just about extravagant spending or picking up eccentric new hobbies; it’s also about breaking away from old routines and norms that no longer bring joy or fulfillment. It’s the phase where you might travel the world and start your own blog, like I did with ChaCha Travels, or perhaps finally take that pottery class you’ve been putting off since your 20s. The key here? You’re seeking passion, and perhaps a touch of controlled chaos.
Here are some insightful books that address midlife, offering guidance, humor, and perspective for those navigating this unique stage:
Life Reimagined: The Science, Art, and Opportunity of Midlife by Barbara Bradley Hagerty – This book explores the possibilities of midlife, backed by scientific research and real stories.
The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Better After 50 – by Jonathan Rauch debunks myths about aging and illustrates why midlife is often the beginning of our happiest years.
In Our Prime: The Invention of Middle Age by Patricia Cohen – A cultural and historical look at how the concept of middle age has evolved and its implications on society.
Leap Year: How to Make Big Decisions, Be More Resilient, and Change Your Life for Good by Helen Russell – Provides practical advice on handling life transitions, including those that often occur in midlife.
These books offer a range of perspectives and insights into the opportunities and challenges of midlife, making them great resources for anyone looking to understand and make the most of these years.
Stage 3: The Renaissance
Here’s where things get interesting. After the dust settles many find themselves in what I like to call the sweet-spot of the midlife celebration. It’s an era of renewal and discovery. Perhaps the sports car wasn’t such a great idea, but that Spanish class you took has sparked a newfound love for language learning. Or maybe, through the blog you started as a fun project, you’ve connected with hundreds of like-minded souls who are also dancing through their midlife celebrations.
My midlife celebration is traveling the world. What is your midlife celebration?
Epilogue: The Continuous Joy of Celebrating Midlife
As the celebration unfolds, we begin to realize that what many mistakenly call a midlife ‘crisis’ is in reality a celebration of living—vibrantly and healthfully—well into our prime. This phase isn’t just about looking back with nostalgia; it’s about living forward with anticipation. The midlife celebration is an acknowledgment that we’re not just aging; we’re evolving, enjoying longer and healthier lives filled with continuous joy and discovery. It’s about recognizing that each day is a new opportunity to embrace our prime, not as a peak to be reached but a plateau to be explored and enjoyed. This journey redefines what it means to grow older, turning the so-called ‘crisis’ into a daily celebration of life, reaffirming that our best years are not behind us but happening right now. In celebrating midlife, we challenge old narratives and embrace a future where age is an asset, and life is a feast to be savored.
In the grand scheme of things, a midlife crisis is less about crisis and more about transformation. It’s a time when the cocoon of the known unravels, and the new, vibrant wings of change take flight. So, if you find yourself eyeing that Harley or contemplating a backpacking trip through Asia, remember: it’s not a crisis; it’s an awakening.
The Moral of the Story
The midlife celebration (not crisis!), is a reminder to all of us that transformation is continuous and often necessary. It nudges us to ask if we’re where we want to be and then gives us the nudge (or shove) to make the changes we need. Whether you’re contemplating a major life overhaul or simply thinking about taking up a new hobby, the key is to embrace the ride — bumps, surprises, and all.
So, as you navigate your midlife, remember to keep it light, keep it fun, and perhaps most importantly, keep it moving. Because in this celebration, the rides are far more thrilling when you’re the one choosing them.
For more details on Elliott Jaques work, you can check the following source: Britannica.
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xo, ChaCha
